Grin & Bear It

Well aren't you all just hilarious.

"Sure, Jeremy, we believe you. Of course teddy bears can walk around and mess with your stuff... Haha - that silly bear. Say, why don't you give Sherlock Bear a call - or maybe it's that cardboard guy in the corner causing all the trouble... ha ha ha - gee, what's that bear gonna do next, ha - hahaha - HAAA!!!"

Y'know - I understand that it sounds crazy. It's insane, really - INANIMATE OBJECTS DO NOT JUST COME TO LIFE WHILE YOU'RE OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! They don't read your mail, they don't draw mustaches on everything, and they don't listen to your iPod! I know this. You know this. And yet, here it is - happening. And all you can do is make jokes?! I mean, I expected a little bit of skepticism - it's a hard pill to swallow, believe me - but jokes? At my expense? I guess I just expected more... understanding. Heck, even a slap in the face - "Hey, buddy - get a hold of yourself!" But jokes...

...I'm not crying....

Ugh - shake it off. Okay - "Just the facts, ma'am." Right. I'm sorry... it's just a little overwhelming - everything that's been happening lately. I apologize. You're my friends and I know you care for me... it's just, sometimes...

Nope. Not gonna do it... I'm a professional, and this is purely a scientific endeavor. Observe and report. "There's no crying in baseball!" Or science. So okay, here's what's been happening lately.

For a couple of days, it seemed as if the bear was inactive. Granted, I was home much of the time since I did not have to work, so it's possible he simply hadn't the opportunity for much mischief. Upon reflection, however, there did seem to be some strange dust patterns on and around several of my DVD and book shelves. (Not that I look for such things.) It could be an indication of his having taken inventory of my entertainment collections, but I have no proof. If he did invade that space, he covered his tracks relatively well.

Day before yesterday, however, I was out of the house for several hours and found upon returning that my laundry had been tipped over - rifled through, even - and that the shoes under my bed had all been mismatched. The next morning, when I awoke, I discovered that several more mustaches had cropped up overnight. Regrettably, I had made a quick run to the bank before showering and properly assessing the extent of the damage that had been done.


Today brought an even more alarming development. I believe he has ventured outside of the meager confines of my room. I found my pantry door open this evening. I can only imagine that now, after having assessed my entertainment preferences, sleeping habits, and wardrobe - he now is interested in my diet. To what ends, I have yet to deduce.


The bear's activity, if indeed these minor annoyances can realistically be attributed to him, has not been... an unbearable burden. I have made a commitment to Alison to take care of him and I will uphold it. I simply was not fully prepared for the ramifications of that decision.

The perceived invasion of privacy - the scrutiny - is the hardest to deal with. I have lived so much of my life out of the view of others - solitary and alone - that it is frighteningly new to know that someone (albeit a bear) is keeping a constant watch over me. I suppose that is how it is with any relationship... the more time - and life - you share with someone, the less your life becomes your own. Which is a fair trade, all considered. Now there are two of us watching out for me - I am no longer resigned to 'go it alone'. And indeed, I do enjoy the bear's company. The more comfortable I become with him, the more I trust that the next 15 weeks will be - if nothing else - quite an interesting journey.

A word of warning, however, to myself and those along for this ridiculous ride. Do not be fooled by the mustaches & mischief. The bear has a plan. Of that much, I am sure.

Until next time, then, I remain... myself.

Bear-y Strange Things

Hello.

If you are reading this, then it means you have passed the voice-encrypted security checkpoint. Know that I value your friendship, but more importantly - your confidentiality. What I am about to reveal to you is very personal and highly sensitive material.

The... events... began roughly a week ago, shortly after acquiring Kensington. Kensigton III is a teddy bear (supposedly a randomly-chosen, personally-crafted gift from Build-A-Bear... but I have my doubts) who until very recently belonged to a very good friend of mine - a young lady, in fact, with whom I have been spending a good deal of time. We are quite fond of one another. The bear was given to her as a travel companion some time ago by one of her best friends - allegedly purchased from a store in the local mall. Kensington's owner, Alison, is now in Germany for 4 months student teaching on a military base there. Due to space restrictions and the introduction of a new travel companion - Klaus the German - Kensington was left in my care.

That is the history, and this... is the current situation. Since adopting the furry friend, I have done my best to make him comfortable in his new surroundings. I've attempted to include him in my daily activities, from time to time, and given him a comfortable place atop my bed.



In that time, however, several things have occurred which I do not understand. I'm not the neatest or tidiest of men, but I know where I've left things and they are not always there when I return. The other day, one of my pillows was on the floor. My mail appears to have been tampered with. Several of my drawing lying about have had... mustaches drawn on them. And I think someone has been listening to my iPod.

At first, I thought that I might be delerious from missing Alison - perhaps I had done these things myself and simply forgotten. I thought it might be a prank, but my roommates are definitely not the pranking type. I even considered that I might be sleepwalking. My brother has dealt with this problem before... maybe it runs in the family. But no, most of these events occur while I'm away from the house. It couldn't be me. Then, yesterday, I found this:


A book on the floor is strange enough, but why the stool? If a person (someone of normal height) wanted to freak me out by placing a book on the floor, they would certainly not need to stand on a stool - the book was only on the third shelf! But a bear - of the same 'teddy' size and variety as Kensington - would need the height advantage. I know - it sounds crazy, and believe me I can come up with some crazy ideas, but there's just no other explanation for what has been happening! I've run it over and over in my mind - second-guessing it, rethinking it, re-analyzing it - and the only thing I can come up with - the only explanation that makes any kind of sense - even thought it makes NO sense at all--

--is that it must be the bear.


I have not been able to establish verbal contact with the bear at this time, but I do not believe his intentions are... hostile. I will continue to investigate these strange affairs and report my findings here.