"Sure, Jeremy, we believe you. Of course teddy bears can walk around and mess with your stuff... Haha - that silly bear. Say, why don't you give Sherlock Bear a call - or maybe it's that cardboard guy in the corner causing all the trouble... ha ha ha - gee, what's that bear gonna do next, ha - hahaha - HAAA!!!"
Y'know - I understand that it sounds crazy. It's insane, really - INANIMATE OBJECTS DO NOT JUST COME TO LIFE WHILE YOU'RE OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! They don't read your mail, they don't draw mustaches on everything, and they don't listen to your iPod! I know this. You know this. And yet, here it is - happening. And all you can do is make jokes?! I mean, I expected a little bit of skepticism - it's a hard pill to swallow, believe me - but jokes? At my expense? I guess I just expected more... understanding. Heck, even a slap in the face - "Hey, buddy - get a hold of yourself!" But jokes...
...I'm not crying....
Ugh - shake it off. Okay - "Just the facts, ma'am." Right. I'm sorry... it's just a little overwhelming - everything that's been happening lately. I apologize. You're my friends and I know you care for me... it's just, sometimes...
Nope. Not gonna do it... I'm a professional, and this is purely a scientific endeavor. Observe and report. "There's no crying in baseball!" Or science. So okay, here's what's been happening lately.
For a couple of days, it seemed as if the bear was inactive. Granted, I was home much of the time since I did not have to work, so it's possible he simply hadn't the opportunity for much mischief. Upon reflection, however, there did seem to be some strange dust patterns on and around several of my DVD and book shelves. (Not that I look for such things.) It could be an indication of his having taken inventory of my entertainment collections, but I have no proof. If he did invade that space, he covered his tracks relatively well.
Day before yesterday, however, I was out of the house for several hours and found upon returning that my laundry had been tipped over - rifled through, even - and that the shoes under my bed had all been mismatched. The next morning, when I awoke, I discovered that several more mustaches had cropped up overnight. Regrettably, I had made a quick run to the bank before showering and properly assessing the extent of the damage that had been done.
Today brought an even more alarming development. I believe he has ventured outside of the meager confines of my room. I found my pantry door open this evening. I can only imagine that now, after having assessed my entertainment preferences, sleeping habits, and wardrobe - he now is interested in my diet. To what ends, I have yet to deduce.
The bear's activity, if indeed these minor annoyances can realistically be attributed to him, has not been... an unbearable burden. I have made a commitment to Alison to take care of him and I will uphold it. I simply was not fully prepared for the ramifications of that decision.
The perceived invasion of privacy - the scrutiny - is the hardest to deal with. I have lived so much of my life out of the view of others - solitary and alone - that it is frighteningly new to know that someone (albeit a bear) is keeping a constant watch over me. I suppose that is how it is with any relationship... the more time - and life - you share with someone, the less your life becomes your own. Which is a fair trade, all considered. Now there are two of us watching out for me - I am no longer resigned to 'go it alone'. And indeed, I do enjoy the bear's company. The more comfortable I become with him, the more I trust that the next 15 weeks will be - if nothing else - quite an interesting journey.
A word of warning, however, to myself and those along for this ridiculous ride. Do not be fooled by the mustaches & mischief. The bear has a plan. Of that much, I am sure.
Until next time, then, I remain... myself.
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